Messiah
College wasn’t my first choice, it wasn’t my second either. Attending the school my father did, only
fifteen minutes from my childhood home, was not on my list of plans, but then I
visited just to see, and I haven’t wanted to leave ever since. So here I am, four years later, a multitude
of memories gathered and experiences shared, and I am told that I have to leave
(because being a student forever is not economically responsible). I look back
on this journey and I find it so bittersweet to leave the place I have learned
to call home.
I remember the first night I arrived
on campus, to that dorm room on the third floor of Witmer, as if it was
yesterday. I can easily recall the walk from Hitchcock to Brubaker after saying
goodbye to my parents, the nervous journey to Jordan/Kline with my peer group,
and that first meeting on my floor. If I
had known then just how much my life would change, I may have been even more
anxious than I was. Instead, I giggled
and joked my way through the first few days on campus, participating in
everything I could and learning what it meant to live with others for the first
time. That feeling of summer camp quickly faded though along with the warm
summer weather.
Upon coming to Messiah I had a very naive view of what life would be like in a Christian College environment. I was sure I would meet nice people, have the
chance to live out my faith, and do a great deal of service. What I never expected to find I did. My time
here has been so much more than the things I once thought it would be. Yes, I talked about the deeper life issues, I learned to struggle, to
ask questions about my faith and to be pushed. After four years, I know I am
who I have grown to be because I had professors, mentors, and advisers who cared enough about those questions to give me the space to answer them.
Most of all, I found a place to
belong. Somewhere between August 28,
2008 and graduation, I realized that 1000 shared meals in lottie
would make the best friends, that I would buy more Messiah tshirts than anyone
needed, and that all that money and time I spent in the Union would make it
more than just the student center by the time I left. Sometime between going to
basketball games and actually having friends on the team, it came to matter and
at some point Powerhouse was no longer just a weekly worship service; it was
something I looked forward to. A chance to be alone with God while surrounded by my peers.
People outside of the Messiah community
would probably question my devotion to a place I came and went from for the
last four years, but then again, those people don’t understand why I chose
Messiah in the first place. When I think
about the people I have left I understand why this
time is so bittersweet. It finally makes
sense why you have to take the goodbyes and the change in order to really
appreciate what you ever had in the first place.
So here I am, having taken every last
chance to make the most of my time.
I stayed up late, going on walks to the swinging bridge just because
I could, visited Bakers more often than I should, and went to chapel
consistently, because I understand that someday soon I wouldn't get the chance to do these
things. Yes, the people I have come to
know and be loved by will still be a part of my life, of this I am completely
sure, but never again will I have this experience. My time at Messiah is such a shining example of why
the college experience is not just about the academics, and the learning that
happens is not always in the classroom. And it’s because of that I know I’ll be
back.
The above photo is filled with the people who I will take with me everywhere I go because we all have people we could not imagine our lives without. These are some of mine.
If I had given a speech, if I had written something for the world to react to, or for our entire community to reflect upon, I bet it would be simple... "Hold tight to the ones you love and don't ever let go. Be the last to say goodbye, the first to initiate plans, and no matter what, be the friend you wish to have."
May 12, 2012. A week ago today, I graduated.
FINALLY part of me screams and yet, the other,
(a little more silent right now but just lingering under the surface), says "please don't forget about me"
(a little more silent right now but just lingering under the surface), says "please don't forget about me"
For late night
conversations… thank you.
For showing me what it
means to be friends with a man again… thank you.
For long walks and talks
about life… thank you.
For encouraging me to
follow my dreams all the way to Indiana… thank you.
For loving me when I didn’t
know how to love myself… thank you.
The people in this photo
represent so much more than the good I will take with me from Messiah College,
they represent all I learned about myself in the last four years. And yes, I am
heartbroken to leave. Even now typing
this I know that I will see some of them in a week. A few are on bikes riding back from the west
coast and creating an adventure of their own. One is already married and others
are going to be married by this time next year (some by this time in three
months). One of them will be in Indiana with me (thank goodness!). A few live
within twenty minutes, and others are over eight hours away.
While I write this, I cry. Not as much from sadness as from
joy, because it will never be goodbye, not for us. This is just another “see
you later” with maybe a bit more time in between our meeting.
So here’s to you. My beautiful, nurturing, impossible to
forget friends. A week ago I held you and said I would miss you, and a week
later, I know I always will.
Until we meet again…
